Have you ever dealt with someone who said all the right things, followed the correct procedures, and completed the transaction efficiently, yet left you feeling that you hadn’t connected with another person? You received the service, but somehow you didn’t feel particularly valued or seen. When that happens, do you say something, complete the survey, or simply take your business elsewhere?
In my short video, “Complainers Care the Most,” I encourage leaders to consider the value of customer feedback. Someone who takes the time to explain what disappointed them is giving us an opportunity to understand their experience and respond. I recently found myself on the customer side of that conversation during a hotel stay in Whistler.
I was there for a board retreat. Following my visit, I completed the guest satisfaction survey and gave an overall recommendation of seven out of ten. Several things were done well: the room was clean, things worked, and staff responded when I needed assistance. However, workmanship issues in the room and challenges finding my way around the building influenced my assessment.
The general manager followed up personally. He asked specific questions about my ratings, including one about employee interest. In my response, I described the check-in this way: “I found your staff professional but felt I was being processed. The right words but without a genuine connection.”
Professional, but Missing the Person
Professionalism matters. We want people to be competent, accurate, respectful, and reliable. But if our definition stops at following procedures and saying the right words, we can complete every step and still miss the person standing in front of us.
At check-in, the task is to confirm the reservation, take payment information, explain the essentials, and provide a key. The opportunity is to help someone feel welcome, get oriented, and settle in. Both happen in the same interaction, but they require us to pay attention to more than the screen.
There was a positive example during that same arrival. The underground parking was full, and the front desk employee offered to have my vehicle valet parked at no additional charge. I appreciated that. They couldn’t create another parking space, but they could take ownership of helping me. We cannot control every circumstance our customers encounter. We can take responsibility for how we respond.
When Feedback Becomes an Opportunity
What impressed me most was what the manager did with my feedback. This is where “complainers care the most” became practical. I had taken the time to explain my experience, and he treated that effort as useful information. He didn’t argue with my scores or explain why I should have felt differently. He listened and identified things he could address, including the bathroom finishing and lighting around the elevators.
He also recognized the larger issue: “A guest should feel welcomed, not simply checked in.” His response gave me a reason to believe my feedback mattered.
That applies beyond hospitality. An engineering firm can deliver a technically sound report while leaving the client uncertain about what it means or what to do next. A salesperson can follow every stage of a sales process without understanding what matters to the buyer. A manager can finish a performance review without the employee feeling heard or receiving useful guidance. In each case, the process may be complete while the human need remains unmet.
One of the manager’s observations also caught my attention. His team walks through the hotel every day, so they know where everything is. A first-time guest doesn’t have that familiarity. What seems obvious to an employee may be confusing to the person they’re serving.
We do this in our businesses. We know our terminology, systems, and next steps so well that we forget to explain them. We say, “Just complete the form,” or “You’ll find it on the portal,” without checking whether the customer understands. Being professional includes making our expertise useful and our processes understandable. As leaders, that is our responsibility.
Ask, Clarify, Confirm, Proceed
How do we keep from processing people? Start by giving them your attention. At check-in, that means looking up, listening, and checking that the guest understands what happens next. When someone raises a concern, it means resisting the urge to explain before you understand.
Here’s a simple acronym to use and teach your staff: ACCP: Ask, Clarify, Confirm, Proceed. Ask about the person’s experience or what they need. Clarify anything you don’t understand instead of making assumptions. Confirm your understanding with them. Then proceed with an appropriate response and explain what happens next.
The manager’s follow-up reflected that approach. He asked about my ratings, invited me to explain, acknowledged what he heard, and outlined his next steps. Not every interaction requires a long conversation. A thoughtful question or clear explanation can make a considerable difference when it shows that someone is paying attention.
For leaders, there’s another question: What are we teaching and rewarding? If we focus only on speed, volume, and compliance, we can encourage people to rush through the interactions that build trust. We must show what good judgment, personal attention, and ownership look like. Ultimately, those behaviours must be modelled by us.
Give People a Reason to Speak Up
The manager’s response strengthened my impression of his leadership and the hotel. My stay gave me something to comment on; his willingness to engage gave me a reason to consider returning.
Think about your customers and clients. Do they feel comfortable telling you when something falls short? Does your response encourage an honest conversation? We cannot assume silence means satisfaction. Sometimes it means someone has decided that speaking up won’t make a difference.
When I say “complainers care the most,” I’m asking leaders to consider the effort behind the feedback. Someone cared enough to bring an issue to your attention. Give them your genuine attention in return and use what you learn to improve how you serve.
“Professionalism is more than doing your job well. It’s making sure the person you’re serving feels seen, heard, and valued.” — Ralph Kison
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